Just a little ditty on my vast experience in various London dentistry torture chambers over the years.

Would it be mere flights of fancy if I were to convey to you about the Blackheath dentist who sent me milk tokens after my complaining by letter that I thought he had the "chairside manner of a garage mechanic? Or the Maida Vale one who fed me cups of sugary tea in between root canal sessions? ( Beverley the black suction application nurse all the while recounting how she loved to watch horror videos afer a good day staring down a goodly variety of vile orifices)

Or how about the Kentish Town one who took vomit-inducing plasticine impressions by the dozen of my particular peculiar teeth arrangement after several decades of Cadbury's molar crumble in order to sell on to dental students at a college he taught at, out of hours?

Well, I kind of gave away the plot there a little. . . but nevertheless.

I must begin by recommending a visit to
www.foodpoisonindustry.blog.co.uk

(Please I beg you, steer well clear of SUGAR in any form in your diet - or face the executioner's chair!)

. . .in order that you, dear reader, may avoid a similar fate to YT, who, down the years has suffered the eye-watering tortures of the damned whilst seated in that hospital-horrid drop-back chair with overhead multi-faceted light c/w blood-spit basin attached.

At the end of a list too long to mention, "Dr" Cohen, in 2002, drilled down two perfectly healthy teeth to replace with caps. This, exactly one month after performing fillings on them ( which to anyone with any sanity would indicate salvageability).

As I was ushered into the waiting room with a couple of Kleenex to mop up the spewing blood after the ruthless drilling ( without asking or informing me what he was about to do), I began to overcome the shock to replace with overwhelming angst. Upon returning to my seat, blood gush stemmed, I asked the smiling little fellow. .
" why did you have to drill them down after filling them only a month back?"

" Precautionary" was the terse reply.

( Well he was married and with a new babe on the way, household expenses must be met, not to mention his skiing trips to Austria every winter)

These goddamn London dentists are on a gravy train of freebies from the Govt, for doing unnecessary work, no matter that the patient must suffer for the rest of his/her days with the consequences.

Thwey're ALL on the make, every goddam last one of them.

We are simply seams of gold to be drilled to them, nothing more nothing less.

I feel an irresistible urge to purchase some paint-stripper to baptize and anoint a certain fellow's sparkling back Merc' this very eve.... . . ..resist resist, vengeance is for the weak!

MSt.M